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Hey Kids, Eat More Molasses!!

A while ago I picked up a cookbook at a rummage sale titled, “Brer Rabbit’s New Orleans Molasses Recipes.” I bought it mainly for it’s cover featuring a wily rabbit dressed quite dapperly and running around with a piece of gingerbread covered in whipping cream.

I became kind of obsessed with molasses and found my new favorite recipe for soft molasses hazelnut cookies in here. If you want the recipe, let me know. I’ve even taken to eating a tablespoonful every morning and I am certainly enjoying the health benefits.

These include:
-Increased energy,
-Rabbit-like potency,
-Goiters,
-The power of self-propelled flight,
-And thicker, fuller hair.

It really is true and delicious.

Anyway, I was wondering what molasses were made from and I checked with our good friends at Wikipedia. They said that backstrap molasses are made from the third boiling of sugar cane syrup. You can also call molasses ‘treacle’ apparently, which is weird.

But then I got scared after reading this article. Apparently a giant tub of molasses exploded and killed millions of people with its sticky goodness. Now I don’t want any part of this. Screw you molasses!!

I’m just kidding, I love you molasses.*

*Sorry for this shitty entry. This is what happens when I’m given a week off of work with nothing better to do except suck molasses.

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