duh, hell, Holy crap, Uncategorized

Problems with Pants at Work, Pt. II

I have a nice pair of Paper Denim jeans.

I like them and they are very comfortable. They feel very good when I wear them. These are strange sentences.

This is what my pants look like.

That being said Paper Denim needs to do a little investigating into button improvement. You may – or may not – remember my entry, “Today My Pants Have Holes,” wherein I chronicled the mysterious appearance of holes in my britches. Well, now I’m at work and I’m having yet more problems with my pants.

This afternoon, while finishing up at the ‘loo,’ the button popped off my pants and plunked down before me gently settling to the bottom of the porcelain bowl.

I stopped, stunned, staring at the slightly yellowed water. I looked around me, as if someone was there to witness this event and then turned my attention back to the toilet. Should I just let it go?

For some reason, Paper Denim decided that their pants would benefit from a button that could be removed. Why, Paper Denim?!?! Why?!?!

I attempted to zip up my pants without the button, but it wouldn’t quite do. Plus, without a button, these pants would be rendered useless. So I did what any resourceful person would do.

I left the restroom and went to the cupboard where we keep the tools. I found a pliers and returned to the restroom. In this short journey, it was necessary to pass by two co-workers, but no one asked why I was returning to the bathroom with a pliers.

I plunged the pliers into the still somewhat bubbly water and fished out the button. I threw everything into the faucet and washed it all with great intensity. More so than I normally wash things.

From now on these shall be called Paper Potty Pants. This is a dumb story.

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2 thoughts on “Problems with Pants at Work, Pt. II

  1. I have to admit, “Today My Pants Have Holes” is one of your favorit past entries … but this is pretty funny! I would have just grabbed the button myself and tried to shake hands with as many of my friendsa as I could for the rest of the day … invisible subversion … heh heh …

    Jeans should all have Duct Tape closures … the tape would never break .. and you can always modify the size for age-driven expansion …

    Paper Potty Pants … now at Target …

  2. Holy crap, was I drunk when I posted that last comment? … yikes, it’s like I type with my feet. Here’s a revision – kill the old one should you choose ….

    I have to admit, “Today My Pants Have Holes” is a personal favorite of your past entries … but this is pretty funny! I would have just grabbed the button myself and tried to shake hands with as many of my friends as I could for the rest of the day … invisible subversion … heh heh …

    Jeans should all have Duct Tape closures … the tape would never break .. and you can always modify the size for age-driven expansion …

    Paper Potty Pants … now at Target …

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