drinking, Germany

Free Beer in May in Germany!** UPDATED- May 3, 2012

tree for beerWould you like a free case of beer?

Here is a tip if you answered yes.

First, the hard part, find someone you love in Germany*.

Next, go find a tree in the forest in the latter days of April. This should be a birch tree, roughly 15 feet tall. Cut that tree down and tie it to the roof of your car. Maybe you think to yourself that you don’t want to kill a tree. Maybe you don’t want beer?

Drive your car home and go to the craft store. Make your way to the crepe paper aisle and get a few rolls. Enough to decorate the tree. Also find some old wood or a cardboard and make a small red heart or other sign. Write the name of your beloved on this heart-like object. Now you are ready for beer.

May time trees

Free beer trees for May

On the night of April 30th, when everyone is getting ready for some dance time to celebrate the arrival of Spring, take your tree over to your ladyfriend’s house while she is asleep or otherwise occupied. Tie it to a downspout or a nearby telephone pole or something.

When your beloved awakes, she will be very surprised to find a tree with her name on it. She will also be filled with joy and it might get hot now. But that’s not beer.

Now comes the boring part. I have heard from reliable local sources that you must leave that tree there for a month. If you really want to show your love an admiration, that’s what you’ll do. In some cases, the father of your beloved may get annoyed with a big dirty dying tree carcass hanging in front of his house and take it down. This is not good for your beer fortunes. If he takes it down that means that he does not approve. If he takes it down and forbids you to talk with your ladyfriend, then you have bigger problems than not having beer.

more beer tree

In other cases he’ll just leave it there. He’ll let it sit for a month, maybe even more, but decorum dictates that you should then go and remove the tree and clean up the mess of droopy rain-soaked crepe paper. In recognition of your efforts and your undying passion for his daughter, he will buy you a case of beer.

Update: According to additional information gathered from local sources on May 3, 2012, it is in fact the responsibility of your beloved to buy you a case of beer the day after discovering the tree in her front yard. More so if you surprise her. So just keep that in mind. Though I prefer the waiting father trick thing.


*That’s a silly, silly joke. There are many lovely people in Germany.

**I frequently apologize for entries, this one is no different being a hastily written tribute to this lovely tradition in the area  where I’m living. But you should see it, really great stuff. On the evening of April 30 as I sat in my living room with my beloved I heard some singing outside. We peered out the window to see a young man and some of his friends carrying a large tree upright down the road singing songs and obviously headed for his ladyfriend’s house. It seemed he may not have wanted to wait the month’s time for the free case of beer and just got a headstart.

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